Added: Lavonia Ragin - Date: 06.11.2021 11:05 - Views: 40945 - Clicks: 3903
Many of us live in a repressed world. We keep certain fantasies strictly to ourselves, hiding them where no one else is allowed to look. But privately they remain very rich and real to us. What if you could connect with a willing partner where there was such a deep and powerful bond of trust, that you could share more of yourself than you thought possible?
What if this connection was so intimate, that sharing with another simply felt like circulating a thought within your own mind? No walls. No secrets. What if you could allow this person into the dark places of your imagination, the parts that have been shamed as sinful, dirty, naughty — labels that imply wrongness and immorality just for thinking about these possibilities, let alone acting on them?
Sometimes opening up and talking about these fantasies is still too much for us, even with a very trusting partner. The experience is what matters. What if you could connect with a partner that had permission to explore with you? What if you gave this partner permission to help you discover and experience your deepest fantasies, your biggest turn-ons, your guiltiest pleasures? Sometimes great pleasure can be found in the simplest acts.
Making you feel good makes me feel good. What if you could connect with a partner that was willing to discover what you really, really like… and then upon such discovery, this partner would continue to do more of it? And then what if this partner continued to explore around the edges, with the aim of finding other pleasures and perhaps even greater ones? So you know you like chocolate. How about chocolate raspberry?
Or chocolate and red wine? Or the feeling of chocolate sauce being licked off your chest? You love it when someone gives you oral sex? Just hold onto that energy. Is it better with this music? Mildly stimulating for you? How about like this? Oh, you like that even more. And this? Not so much. Ok, back to this… But have you ever had it this way? What thoughts can we coax into your mind that will give you the richest mind-body pleasure too?
And what feelings can we help create in your heart to enrich the experience even more? And what kind of overall connection do you want to co-create, such that your pleasure becomes synergistically greater? Physical technique is perhaps the least important element. It matters to some degree, but not as much as people think. I can certainly attest that an amateur massage given with love and caring and the intention to make the other person feel really good feels so much better than a professional, technique-driven massage delivered with coldness and detachment.
The energy is everything. Domination and submission is for two people to explore together, so as to learn more about what gives each other pleasure. From the outside looking in, this may appear to be about one person giving up control to another. It looks very asymmetrical. One person commands. One person submits. Both people are giving each other permission to explore what gives them pleasure. Once you get behind the outer shell, the inside is simply an expression of love.
I want you to make me feel good. There are tremendous lessons here for both. I want you to let me make you feel good. There are powerful lessons to be learned here as well. In the third mode, the Dom and the sub agree to explore how they can co-create the deepest, richest experience of pleasure for each other at the same time. Both are doing their best to tap into the flow of giving and receiving. The Dom is simply the one giving a voice to that flow. They can both hear where the flow wants to go so clearly that no verbalization is necessary.
But when things fall off track, the Dom is the one with the clear responsibility to do what it takes to restore the flow state, and the sub trusts the Dom to perform this role. No mode is superior to the others. Each mode has its own delights and its own lessons.
It is deeply intimate, sensually intense, and stunningly beautiful. No words can adequately describe the reality. If any convincing is required, that would kill the whole purpose. Surrendering to the experience cannot happen if there is any pressure to do so. It must be a free, conscious choice. There has to be a sense of readiness and willingness to explore. Someone may invite you into such an experience with them, or you may invite them. Each invitation opens the door to a unique exploration. But until you accept the first invitation, the second one will largely remain hidden from you.
To invite a person into the space of intimate exploration requires a lot of trust. Avoiding a bad experience becomes very important. Take the time to create a strong bond of trust with your partner before you go too deep. Make sure that your hearts are able to get into sync and follow each other. A stain of distrust or suspicion ruins the experience. Trust your intuition. First and foremost, avoid the bad experience. For me, declining an invite simply means, not yet. I also look for an indication of a mutual growth experience. But in the richness of the real experience, we close the doors to this outside world, so none of that social and sexual immaturity is present.
They must continue to shun it, to cast it out, to shame it. For otherwise, if it became widely known that bliss is free, who would turn on the TV? What gives you the most pleasure? What gives your partner the most pleasure? How can we co-create the greatest feelings of mutual pleasure? These questions are asked and answered again and again. Moreover, the very definition of pleasure is questioned and explored.
Is physical pleasure the best we can do? What about mental pleasure? Emotional pleasure? Spiritual pleasure? How we can combine different forms of pleasure at the same time, so that all parts of your being are open, receptive, and engaged? To return to that state, we need to release the blocks that keep us from it. What keeps you out of bliss? Do you allow your body image to get in the way?
Have your turn-ons been shamed and guilted away? Are you afraid of rejection or judgment? Do you see people as separate from you, a potential threat? Do you stop yourself from fully surrendering to pleasure?D/s sex
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How You Can Have a Functional (and Sexy) D/s Relationship